(full transcript below)
“Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness.” – Mother Teresa
To say that these past few months have been challenging would be an understatement. Both in my personal life and in my city, things have literally and figuratively been going up in flames. Like so many, my heart grieved after hearing of the tragic event that took place on August 9th and the reactions that soon followed. Since that day, emotion have heightened and have ranged from frustration and anger, to sadness and grief, to passion and joy. There has been much said and re-said, written and rewritten. At times, it’s simply been overwhelming! And honestly, you don’t need my opinions, my thoughts, or my proposed solutions. It would be wrong of me to assume that I have any real understanding of the issues that have arisen in the hearts of so many over these past couple of months. But I do see a need! My heart fills with compassion and is greatly burdened for ALL people, to know hope. A real and a tangible hope, a hope of healing and a hope of restoration.
Regardless of specific views, I’m daily confronted with people, who like myself, are longing to be a part of something bigger, longing for something to change, and longing for things to be made right……but what is right? Is there an answer? We cry out for justice. We pray for peace. We speak of love, yet my own heart asks, do I know what love, peace, and justice look like?
As I went before the Lord, as I searched my own heart, and as I spoke with close friends, the idea of something bigger kept arising. Something bigger than you or I. Something that would transcend generations and cross racial and social lines.
Because, if we’re looking for our streets to be calm and crime free, if we’re looking for there to be an end to racial profiling, if we’re looking for some sort of government reform, or if we’re simply waiting for things to die down so that we can get back to life as usual, then our goal and our aim is too small! I implore you to see something greater!
We’ve all heard it: “every issue is ultimately a heart issue.” And yes, we’ve seen the very heart of our city exposed. St. Louis has been known for being hyper segregated. It’s a place where race and economic status have divided us for so long. And in many ways we have become calloused to the hurt in our city and to our very own prejudices.
I wish I could say that I’ve been surprised by the all the violence, by the destruction, by the rioting, by the protests, by the anger, by the passivity, by the insensitivity, or by the countless people now falling on their knees in prayer…but I can’t.
I can’t because I know my own heart, I know how easy it is for anger and pride to arise. I know how easy it is to be passive or passionate about something. Yes, I’ve experienced pain, but what I’m learning is that it’s through pain and the exposing of the darkness in my own heart that healing is then able to take place.
Mother Teresa said, “The way you heal the world, is you start with your own family.” And I would add, you start with you, with your own heart. You cannot lead anyone to a place of healing if you don’t know the way yourself. By God’s design our own journey of healing can bring healing to others. So let’s look at our own heart. Let’s ask, “am I willing for God to begin the work of peace, justice, and love in me? Despite how hard or uncomfortable it is, am I willing to allow Him to expose the darkness of my own life, the things that I would much rather leave untouched?” For many of us the answer will be no, but for some, I pray that the answer is yes.
I write these words with a heaviness of heart, because of the utter brokenness I’ve seen in homes across this city and region. I’ve seen the widespread effects of our wickedness, how jealousy can destroy a home and how anger plays out on the streets.
Every intention of the human heart is evil and sinful at its core. Not only does this divide us from one another, but it also divides us from the very one who created us, the one who loves us, and the one who ultimately gives value to each and every life. And although I may not yet know what our reconciliation really looks like, I know the God who does. The God who is love, the God who gives peace, the God who sovereignly sits on a throne of justice and who is righteous in everything that He does. It’s to Him we look. The grand solution that we’re all searching for in our lives and in our city comes from HIS powerful hand alone. GOD, perfect in all His ways, looking on us the unjust and the unrighteous. Choosing to have compassion, when we ourselves were helpless and completely without hope. He chose to come. Through Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection we have hope of reconciliation, first to God and then to one another. Jesus alone is the source of healing. We look to Him, to his word, and to the cross. Because whether we know it or not, each and every one of us is in desperate need of a savior. And that savior is Jesus Christ.
And yes, JESUS is a NEED! He’s not like a drug that you try out to simply mask the problem in hopes that you get hooked and so that you won’t have to face or feel the pain anymore. He’s not about covering up the darkness. He’s about cutting through it with a light and a love that brings true healing. So despite all of the challenges we face, I’m excited, because I serve a God who works through our brokenness and He is faithful!
I urge you brothers and sisters, be reconciled to God and to one another through Christ Jesus. Don’t harden your hearts, but be willing to allow the Light of Christ to shine in the darkest of places. First in your own heart, in your own family, and then in our city also.
Romans 3:22-24 says,
This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
Elisa Doty (Community Outreach Advocate, Academic/Visual Arts Mentor)